Los Angeles, CA (AP) – Tristal and Sophia Loren exited the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion arm-in-arm Saturday night, following the conclusion of Patriot’s Second Annual JuggMaster Video Awards program. No one could argue that the evening belonged to the two of them. Tristal had won both major awards, Video of the Year (for Tristal 6) and Best Foreign Video (for Tristal 5), and Miss Loren received a two-minute standing ovation when she walked on stage as the surprise guest to present the top foreign video award. Tristal also won last years Pattie for Best Foreign Video, meaning she’s taken home three of the top four awards in the Pattie’s two-year history.
Competition was stiff for this year’s Video of the Year honors and for several weeks the prognosticators had a fit trying to get a line on which the judges would favor. It’s well known that the judges love the retro look so it was obvious that Scarlett’s magnificent performance in Scarlett 5 (sunning herself on the pool deck wearing only a red polka-dotted biking bottom) would rate highly. Sarah in Sarah 3 (rising out of the pool where she arches her back while standing on the pool steps) and Sophia in Sophia 2 (the breathtaking sequence where she removes the top of that lovely blue dress) both turned in amazingly graceful, feminine performances. And of course, it’s been rumored for some time that Missy and Patriot, the President of the Patriot Academy of Arts and Sciences, were seeing each other privately. (“Absolutely nothing to that rumor whatsoever,” said Patriot, when asked about the relationship following the awards ceremony. “It’s common knowledge that I’m a huge fan of Missy’s work with the JuggMaster and yes, I admit that I’m president of the Missy Fan Club but I’m very happily married and besides, I’m old enough to be Missy’s father. We’re simply very close friends and whenever she’s asked me for advice on her career I’ve been happy to offer it.” It was ironic however, that as Patriot fielded these questions about Missy he was interrupted by Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford, who have their own May-December relationship and who had sought him out to pass along their thanks for the evening.) Regardless of the nature of the Missy-Patriot relationship, the judges viewed her aquatic performance in Missy 1 (that spectacular sequence where she floats along the water on her back). And they viewed it. And they viewed it. And they viewed it. And they viewed it. And they viewed it. And they viewed it.
But in the end it was Tristal, for her performance in Tristal 6, who most impressed the judges. It was obvious the JuggMaster agreed that this was a magnificent performance because during one point in the clip, after Tristal removes her lingerie, her stockings and her stiletto heels, he's heard to remark “You look awesome just sitting there.” She certainly does; she looks stunning; she looks spectacular. She indeed, looks amazing. She looked so amazing her performance earned her Video of the Year honors. A new tradition was begun at this year's ceremony; the Video of the Year award was, and will be in the future, presented by the previous year's winner. The JuggMistress, who won the 2005 Video of the Year award, received the second largest ovation of the evening when she was introduced to the audience. She looked lovely and elegant and was gracious as always. Later backstage, when she and Tristal and Sophia Loren got together for a chat, the camera flashes lit up the room like a 4 th of July fireworks display, capturing the gathering of the three beauties.
Woman of the Year is a new award at the Patties but it is one the judges believed was overdue. It recognizes a consistency of performance throughout the year, rather than performance in one particular video. This was perhaps the easiest award for the judges to decide; it could only go to Maria Moore. Her performance in Maria Moore 7, 8, 10, and 12 – the sequence shot outdoors where she's seated on the bench dressed in black lingerie – set the standard for this award. The judges said they have great difficulty seeing how this will be easily topped in the future. It was a performance that was soft and feminine and very, very sexy.
There was also a surprise guest introduced to present this award. Actor Charlie Sheen was a last-minute substitution following conversations he had with the Patriot Man earlier in the week. “Charlie's a good guy,” chuckled Patriot at the end of the evening, when reporters asked about the incident. “He just gets a little over-enthusiastic at times. We were thrilled to have him as part of the program.” Sheen had requested (badgered the Academy is what he did) more than his allotted four tickets to the event but the Academy was unable to comply. Instead, they offered, and he immediately accepted, a guest presenter appearance. There was one awkward moment however, when he hugged Maria a little too enthusiastically after giving her the award.
There is no doubt this was a spectacular year for the JuggMaster and his fans. Each of the new models introduced on his site during the previous twelve months was sensational. Missy, Kiki, Ginger and Cre all set the bar extremely high for the future of this category and the addition of Sapphire (who provided an amazing, spectacular, AWESOME debut video clip in June, where, Holy Crap, she poured – dumped? – what appears to be an entire bottle of baby oil over her breasts) admittedly put the judges through the wringer. But ultimately, this was an easy award for the judges to decide.
“It had to be Missy,” said Patriot. “There's just something about Missy in a swimming pool that makes toast of the judges. In this video they loved her slicked back hair, they loved the extremely cool way she floated on her back across the width of the pool, they loved the way the camera caught the sunlight sparkling on the water next to her, they loved the in-the-water-with-her camera angle, they loved the way she occasionally looks at the camera and grins, and they absolutely loved the way her breasts look in this clip. No question about it; it had to be Missy.”
This was the only award for Missy, who had set a Pattie record this year when she received seven nominations. There was some commotion in the audience while Missy was on stage receiving her award; Sheen stood on his seat and held up a large “We Love Missy” sign, temporarily blocking the view of those immediately behind him.
The JuggMaster himself presented the award for Best Direction, which actually recognizes the model's ability to take direction. “There's only one woman who could receive this year's award,” he grinned on stage, just after he opened the envelope and peeked inside at the winner's name. “This Pattie goes to Annie.” The JuggMaster was referring to Annie's performance in Annie 7, which began with two false starts. “I love working with that little gal,” he told reporters afterward, “she's only 4-10 but she's a keg of dynamite.”
Woman of the Year award was actually the second award presented to Maria Moore. Earlier in the evening she was announced as the winner of Best Performance in a Supporting Role, for her work in Maria 11. This is the clip that features her wearing a white bra at the beginning of the clip. “No doubt about it,” Patriot remarked to reporters, “the judges have yet to see a woman who looks better in a bra than Maria Moore. She was the only one who could have received this award.”
Among the awards introduced at this years Patties were Most Beautiful Breasts and Classic Beauty. The former is self-explanatory and the latter recognizes a simple, tasteful merger of woman and surroundings. Sophia Loren said it best when she was interviewed after the program, “Beautiful breasts? Who else but the JuggMistress? Who else possibly could have won this award?” Reporters suggested that not too long ago she herself would have been in contention for such an honor. “Nonsense,” replied the Oscar winning actress, “It's the JuggMistress. She gave a spectacular performance.” Indeed, the judges were intrigued at first and then blown away at her performance in Juggs Eye View 17, where she bent over at the waist and was photographed from behind. “They hadn't seen anything like this previously,” said Patriot, “but they loved the angle and they loved the unique way her lovely figure was photographed. It was a classic.” It was also her only award of the evening, in contrast to the five Patties she took home one year ago. But still, a very impressive Patty Award history. “Six Patties in two years?” commented Patriot. “Let's see someone else top that one.”
Before the evening concluded, the lovely Scarlett was being proclaimed unanimously as the Retro-Queen of juggmaster.com. The judges were thrilled by her actions on the pool deck in Scarlett 6, the way she sunned herself so naturally, the way her natural beauty (Classic Beauty, corrected Patriot after the program) was so visible. They also fell in love with her sunglasses (classic), her hair (curled and in a ponytail), and her lips, her nail polish and her lovely bikini bottom (all red). She was indeed, beauty in the most classic sense.
Lana's performance in Lana 4 won her the Patty for Best Costume but it was her performance while receiving the award that her fans will long remember. As she did a year ago at the Hollywood Bowl when she removed her coat on stage to reveal that stunning one piece blue bathing suit, the voluptuous redhead also brought the crowd to its feet this year. This time when she removed her coat she was wearing that dangerously low-cut nurse's outfit – the same she wore in the previously mentioned video. The sight of her in that outfit was so spectacular and caused such an uproar that some didn't immediately notice Charlie Sheen exiting his seat to make his way on stage. He was running toward Lana shouting “Take my temperature! Please! Take my temperature, Lana!” when the JuggMaster leapt out of his front row seat onto the stage and corralled the rambunctious actor, finally leading him off stage to laughter, cheers and much applause.
It was certainly anti-climactic but Tristal also received the Pattie for Best Backside for her performance in Tristal 5, confirming the judges' opinion that the raven-haired lovely has a spectacular all-around figure.
But in the end, after all the awards were presented, after the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion stage was again dark and silent, after the last reporter asked the last question, it was the sight of Tristal that will remain. As she walked outside and past the bleachers still filled with fans hoping for a glimpse of her, past the paparazzi hoping for one last photo, she met up with Sophia Loren. Two generations of beautiful Italian women. They were chatting in Italian as they walked to their limousine waiting at the curb. Sophia leaned toward her friend and said something in her ear. Tristal tossed her head back and laughed brightly. It was the laugh of a confident woman, the laugh of a woman having the evening of her life. The laugh of the woman who owned the 2006 Patties.